What would feel good when you’re speaking in public?
When people think about improving their public speaking, they often jump straight to goals. They want to be more confident, more polished, more charismatic. They want more executive presence, more gravitas, more impact.
But sometimes, those kinds of goals can create even more pressure.
They make speaking feel like yet another thing to master, fix, or somehow get right. And for a lot of people, that only adds to the sense that speaking in public is high-stakes, exposing and hard.
I think there is a more useful place to start.
Instead of asking, How do I become a brilliant speaker? try asking: What would feel good for me when I’m speaking in public?
It is a gentler question, but a far more powerful one. Because it shifts the focus away from performance and towards experience. It invites curiosity instead of pressure. And it helps you think about confidence in public speaking in a way that feels more human, more achievable and much more sustainable.
Why feelings matter in public speaking
When people want more leadership presence or executive presence, they often focus on how they look and sound. They think about posture, eye contact, vocal delivery and how to come across with more authority.
And yes, those things matter.
But underneath all of that is something deeper: how safe you feel in yourself when you speak.
If your nervous system is in overdrive, if you are bracing, rushing, or trying to “perform confidence”, it is very hard to create real presence. You might say all the right words, but still not feel like yourself. And usually, the audience can feel that too.
This is why I think the real work of becoming a stronger speaker is not about chasing some perfect version of confidence. It is about building a sense of safety in yourself, so that speaking up feels more natural and less like a threat.
That is where real speaker presence begins.
Public speaking confidence is built every day
One of the biggest mistakes people make is treating public speaking as something separate from everyday life. A presentation. A big meeting. A speech. A one-off moment that requires a special version of you.
But speaking is happening all the time.
It happens when you share your opinion in a meeting, introduce yourself on a call, speak on camera, challenge an idea, post on LinkedIn or explain what you do with clarity and confidence.
So evolving as a speaker is not really a once-in-a-while add-on. It is an ongoing part of your working life.
That matters, because it means confidence is not built in one giant leap. It is built in small moments, over time, as you learn to feel more at ease in your body, clearer in your message and steadier in your visibility.
A simple reflection: what would you like speaking to feel like?
Rather than setting yourself another big, shiny speaking goal, try asking a different question:
What would I like speaking in public to feel like?
Take a moment and imagine that speaking up, being visible and sharing your ideas felt more natural, more supportive and more like you.
You might reflect on:
how you would like to feel in your body when you speak
what kind of mindset would help you feel more steady and self-trusting
what you might do differently if speaking felt safer and easier
what could change in your work and life if you showed up with more confidence and presence
You do not need perfect answers. This is not about creating pressure or setting impossible goals. It is about opening your mind up and becoming more curious about what feels possible.
And often, that is where change begins.
Why this approach builds executive presence
We often talk about executive presence as though it is something you have to put on. A polished outer layer. A way of looking more senior, more impressive or more in control.
But genuine presence does not come from pretending.
It comes from feeling grounded enough, safe enough and settled enough in yourself that you can actually be present when you speak.
That is what gives someone weight in a room.
Not just the words they use, but the way they inhabit them.
When you start focusing on how you want speaking to feel, rather than how you think it should look, you create a much stronger foundation for leadership communication. You stop striving for perfection and start building trust in yourself.
And that kind of trust changes everything.
Want to go deeper?
This blog is just the starting point.
If you want to explore your speaking confidence, visibility and presence in a deeper, more practical way, Unshakeable is designed to help you do exactly that.
It is for people who do not want more pressure, more performance or more “just be confident” advice — but who do want to feel safer, steadier and more themselves when they speak.
